How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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