don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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