It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
