just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
