so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
be right there i have to get my cape
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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