please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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