What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
