Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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