i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
