we're chasing vodka with high fives
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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