Pants 0. Shit 1.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
