I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
