He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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