wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
