Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
