Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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