I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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