Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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