real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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