And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
