I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
