whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
