I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
