Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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