Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
