he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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