I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
