she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
