You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
