just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
