I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
