Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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