I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
