Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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