So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
