the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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