why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The struggles of a small town man whore
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
