Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
