Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
