May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
