I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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