I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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