RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
