Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
