Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
