god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
