like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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