She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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