youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
