She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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