She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
