super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
