so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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