Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
