At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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