Someone shit on the floor
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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