Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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