Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
