i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize